IS YOUR STUDENT DEPRESSED?
from the Homeschooler's Notebook
Encouragement and Advice for Homeschool Families

From Marlena: I am a homeschooling mom with bipolar disorder with one of three children that exhibits similar symptoms.  Because of my inconsistencies, and my daughter's, we've adopted a form of homeschooling that is a combination of unschooling with a very simple "curriculum of basic skills" that was mentioned in the newsletter.  Until I finally figured out that less is more for us, we spent several years of pure frustration.  (But I realize too, that a lot of learning has taken place even in the frustrating years.)  This way, she is able to get the basic skills and persue her passions which are weather forcasting, drawing, and creative writing. It's fun to see her get excited about things and go with them in depth.  I require her to choose books on various subjects and of various styles from the library.  When she is struggling with depression, we focus on doing a few pages in the workbook together.  My advice to anyone struggling with bipolar disorder is to learn and do everything naturally possible to have the healthiest body and brain you can have.  The year we spent learning and adopting healthy habits has set us on a much better course.  On difficult days, I encourage myself and my daughter by saying that "we don't have to do everything, we just have to do something".  

I know from experience how crucial support, encouragement and humor is.

From El: I have never taught a bipolar child, but I was one. Things that can help:

• Setting small, manageable goals (on really bad days, getting dressed, taking a walk, and reading one chapter may be all that is manageable)


• Break down tasks into small pieces.


• Provide goals for personal things as well as academic (such as for room cleaning)


• Take advantage of upswings by accomplishing much larger goals during the upswings.


• Provide reminders - I would frequently forget basic things like eating and sleeping.


• A watch with an alarm clock would also be helpful.

From an Unschooling Mom: It is far more important to deal with the emotional issues going on than to worry about school stuff. Have the child engage in activities with meaning to them. Try to get them involved in yoga or meditation. Work on diet modifications and herbal remedies to help with the symptoms. Get the child out for a daily walk in the out of doors, preferably with a parent to talk and work out things. School should be the last concern, as many times school is such a contributing factor to depression.

Work with the child's therapist to devise ways to help the child learn to cope with their illness and let academics follow where they may.

From Melanie: We began homeschooling my oldest (now 21) when we pulled her out in April of her 10th grade year failing.  She was a brilliant child, but her hospitalizations and medications made it impossible for her to even stay awake in class, let alone catch up.  Her self-destructive behaviors and her ability to manipulate people had the doctors recommending we send her to Boystown.  With her Father/Step Mom on one coast and Mom/Step Dad on another, it was easy to keep the real issues hidden behind conflict.

Here is what we learned in the last 5 years:

• Your heart knows your child better than the doctors (she came to Mom's and STAYED, no passing the problem to someone else).


• An absolute schedule is her safety zone - no last minute unplanned changes.


• Accountability and consequences are everything - tough love means its going to be tough.


• If you put a consequence on the table, be prepared to use it or you will lose all authority.


• Place the responsibility of education back on the child, they are 16! Give them tools, schedules, and then have consequences if they do not.


• Hospitalizations are almost impossible to do after 18.


• Absolutely control stimulation - media, friends, music, everything.


• Violence (toward self or other) MUST have consequences outside the home - legal, hospital.


• A little known fact is that bipolar is curable, my dd has been cured and is now looking at getting married and having a family.

From Michelle: As a therapist with an MS in Psychology, I cautiously will offer my thoughts. I say cautiously because I have never met the people I am giving suggestions to.

• First, do they know it is depression. It tends to present differently in children than in adults. Get a good diagnosis.


• Second, proper medicine is important. You would never tell a diabetic to just think good thoughts. We have 3 types of brain chemistry and there is no test to tell which is too high or too low so they try different medicines to see what works. Sadly this takes weeks. But I am home schooling my young girls so they can hopefully go into the sciences and change that:)


• Third, therapy/counseling with the medicine is crucial. If they are Christian they need a true Biblical therapist not a therapist who happens to be a Christian and someone that works with children/teens. There is a difference and I won't go into that here. If not a Christian, they need a person who works with children/teens.


• Lastly, the whole family will need to occasionally be a part of the sessions and maybe do some reading to understand depression. It is often misunderstood.

These four things will help manage the depression or any other diagnosis.
*****As for the schooling (home, public or private), until the depression is managed it will have to be flexible!

From CJ: Positive interaction with his or her peers helps; if he or she won't socialize willingly have movie parties or something to get some of his friends over on a regular basis.

Also, I had no idea until recently when my ADHD son who has suffered from depression off and on since he was six was finally diagnosed with bipolar. Most of the SSRI's that are so loved by the big drug companies (Prozac, Zoloft, etc) and primary care physicians are absolutely NOT what a child or teenager needs, particularly with bipolar. He was started on Depakote, which I thought was only used for seizure disorders, but is also used for bipolar. I had finally taken him off the ADHD meds several years ago because they had an awful rebound affect and he had severe mood swings and semi-pyschotic behavior after they wore off.

The Depakote has been a miracle. I can't believe no one of our primary care physicians caught the bipolar and didn't have a clue about Depakote.

From Pam: I can't imagine how difficult it is to have a young person deal with this debilitating disease. My husband has dealt with depression and I can give you some of the suggestions that he has done and that have helped him.

• Consistent schedule as far as sleep (make sure they are getting a good night's sleep)


• proper eating at regular intervals, and moderate exercise.


• Encouraging friends and family members help.


• At some point, you may need to have him see a psychiatrist and take an antidepressant. I know there is a lot of controversy regarding taking any, but you can get a chemical imbalance in your body that is hard to overcome without some medical assistance. I have heard that B complex can help, but I don't know how well. Check with your doctor.

I would highly recommend homeschooling, if at all possible. Kids can be cruel and teachers have so much paperwork put on them that you don't have as many who can really take the time with individual children and inspire them. You are your child's best advocate. You are helping him to be ready for the rest of his life and how to deal with this.

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